Desperate TimesDesperate measures
by Betsybelle
Summary: Gold and Belle reach a crisis point


Gold's body ached all over. Sighing, he went around the counter facing the door to his shop, limped to the door, flipped the "Yes, we're open" sign to it's opposite "Sorry we're closed", flipped the light switch off and limped slowly and painfully to his office. "So this is what it's come to," he thought. "I can't even work for a few hours before…" and he lay down on the couch, closing his eyes. He found that he had accommodated fairly well to the changes his body was going through, with the exception of his limp. For so many years, he'd hardly given it second thought as it never bothered him. Now, however, he was actually in pain, not the dull, aching kind, but the sharp type that made him want to bite on a bullet, a towel - anything to ease his agony. Today, the pain was particularly bad – to the point where he couldn't sleep. Giving up, Gold sat up and started to massage his bad leg, but shooting pains made him cry out and pound the couch repeatedly in frustration. At times, they would subside and he would attempt to sleep again, but then they restarted, worse than before. He was breathing heavily now, fear starting to well up inside, fear for the first time in centuries, for himself. The pain started again and this time it travelled up his leg and spread throughout his body, causing Gold to shudder and think for the first time that he may not have much longer. With that in mind, he closed his eyes again, lay back down and thought about one thing, the one person in his life who could always make him feel better.

Images of Belle floated in front of him: Belle placing her hand on his shoulder as he sat spinning – or trying to; Belle gracefully accepting the rose; Belle wandering around his house wearing nothing more than his shirt; Belle laughing…..Then, flashes of feeling intensified in Gold. All the love he felt and had ever felt for her, all the longing, all the desire – they overwhelmed him and he started to cry. "Oh Belle", he thought to himself, "my beloved Belle – the only one I've ever loved or could love. I hoped we would have a lifetime together. I hoped we could do so many things together… and now I have to leave you just as we were getting started. But how do I tell you when I barely understand it myself?" Gold recalled his visit to the hospital a few weeks ago to see Dr. Whale. He had a sinking feeling when he saw his face; was it ever good news when a doctor wore a puzzled expression? What it boiled down to, Whale told him, was that for some inexplicable reason, he was being poisoned from the inside. His heart was weaker than it had been at his last physical and his blood was thinner. They had performed all possible tests on him and arrived at a conclusion that didn't make much sense, but which was all they had to go on: the curses had wreaked havoc with his system. How ironic, Gold thought; he was finally the victim of his own magic. "All magic has a price" – isn't that what he always told people? First the Dark One's curse, then the one he created for Regina. He had been killing himself all along. Dr. Whale did suggest that they could possibly affect a cure with an antidote, but in order to do so he would need DNA from one of Gold's relatives. Gold laughed bitterly; that could only be one person – his son, Bae, who he hadn't seen in centuries. Leaving the hospital, Gold fell into despair. He'd all but given up on finding Bae, so now he was faced with his own mortality. "Belle, oh Belle…." The idea that he'd be leaving her alone in the world broke his heart; the idea of leaving her, period, broke his spirit.

"Well", Gold thought now, "I have to tell Belle, I have to prepare her. How on earth do I do that? How do I look into those eyes of hers and tell her the truth?" The pain had returned now, sharper than ever, and he bit hard on his lip to keep from crying out. He winced now as well, but this time it wasn't merely due to his physical pain, but his emotional one as well. It was so unfair, so unfair…."Belle…..Belle"… All he wanted now was to hold her in his arms and never let her go. He wanted to make love to her over and over again, to create new memories with her so that he could carry them with him in his heart wherever he went.

The front door opened and Belle stepped into the foyer. Before she'd taken more than a few steps, Gold had sprung up from the couch to greet her. He didn't use his cane and his leg now felt like it was on fire, but he didn't care. "Belle"…..and his voice was soft and low. He took her hand and led her to the couch. His thoughts were all of her. Oh, she was so beautiful, he thought, so beautiful. He took her face in his hands and gently kissed her lips. How good she felt, how sweet she smelled.

Belle responded to Gold's kiss, but she sensed something was bothering him. When she reluctantly pulled away, she saw that his warm brown eyes were wet with tears. "Rum…..what's wrong?"

Gold was not one for playing games and, in any case, she had to know. "Let's sit down". As he did so, he winced again. There was that agonizing shooting pain again, like bolts of lightning ripping through his body. God, it hurt….so badly. "Belle….." he cried out, reaching out for her even as he was blinded by the pain.

Belle's heart was breaking to see Rum in such a condition. She stroked his face tenderly, held his hands. She could see he was in intense pain, sweating profusely now – and she was as scared as she'd ever been in her life, no – more scared. The terror she felt at being snatched by the Evil Queen was nothing compared to what she felt now. Tears were welling in her eyes, unbidden, for she had to remain strong. "Hold on, Rum, hold on - I'll be right back". Scurrying away, she returned with a wet washcloth. Putting her hand to his forehead, Belle was shocked. "Oh Rum, you're burning up!" The tears now flowed freely down her face as she realized that he was gravely ill. His face was red as a lobster and he was groaning in agony; he appeared to be delirious as well. Wasting no time, Belle ran to find her list of emergency numbers and called 911.

Gold was not now conscious of reality. The pain had overtaken him and he was no longer in control. Head tossing from side to side, he alternated between groaning and crying out for Belle. His last conscious thought was to wonder where Belle was.

She sat by his side, holding his hand, as he beloved Rum lay in the ambulance, now unconscious. Then, placing her hands over her face, Belle sobbed, refusing and unable to be comforted by the attendant.

Belle sat in the hospital room, pale as a ghost, as she stared at Rum in his bed. Tubes were sticking out of him from all angles and he was now in a coma. God, she could hardly believe it; she could hardly believe what Dr. Whale had just told her. Getting up, she walked over to the bed and took Rum's pale hand in her own. It was shockingly weak, so different from his warm, firm, strong hands she was used to. "Oh Rum, Rum..why didn't you tell me?" Whatever frustration she had initially felt were gone, meaningless in the grand scheme of things. She kissed his forehead; she didn't know if he could hear here, but just in case, she was going to make sure he knew that she was not letting go of him without a fight. She would not lose her Rum.

"Rum…listen to me. I know you can hear me. Hang in there, my love. I'm not going to let you die. I'm going to find Bae and bring him home, back where he belongs. I will search as long as I have to, no matter how long it takes". Belle squeezed his hands, trying to will him some of her own strength. " I love you, Rum….remember that. Don' t you ever think of leaving me!" There was a hitch in her voice as she struggled to hold back the tears.

Somewhere in the recesses of his mind, in the small part that was still aware, Gold heard Belle's voice as an echo. It was very light, but he would recognize it anywhere. He thought she was asking him to hang in, to not leave her. "I'll try Belle, my one and only love… I'll try for you. I love you so…"


End file.
